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As we wrap up 2023, we have now been on this journey (if you count the years of prayerfully seeking) for five years. We have been settling into life on the Drove since the spring of 2021 and have been working with youth since fall of 2022. In some ways it seems like every bit of five years and in other ways it's astounding to me the number of things that have transpired in just the past year. There are days when we are "weary and heavy laden" and days when we are "soaring on wings as eagles."  

 

Recently, I stood watching a young man that God has brought into our family working a horse in the round pen. There were so many things running through my mind in those moments; not the least of which was how surreal it all seemed, but that is a reflection for another time. In this particular instance, I want to share a few things that God impressed upon me.

 

First, He spoke deeply to my spirit about His sovereignty. He revealed to me, once again, just how orchestrated his plan for all of our lives is. Jeremiah chapter 1 verse 5 is a reminder to us that God knew us even before He formed us and that He set us apart for a specific purpose. As I watched this kiddo, who has grown dear to me, doing work that I fully believe God has created him to do, I recognized the hand of God on His life and on ours. God knew, long before we even knew the other existed, that he would need us and we would need him. I also was reminded in that moment, how nothing is happen stance with God, because all things are with specific intent and purpose and that the entirety of that purpose is to draw us and others into fellowhip with Him.

 

I watched, for some time, captivated by the beauty of the horse and marveling at the gift that God has given the young man working him. It had been rainy and on this particular night the round pen was muddy and held a giant puddle of water. I was so enthralled with the scene unfolding before me that, even though I took notice of the mud slinging that occurred with each pass, I remained there transfixed. After a bit, I was asked to retrieve something from the barn. Upon returning, I found myself headed back to the place where I had previously been standing. As I approaced, it occurred to me that I could watch from the other side and escape the mudslinging while still maintaining an equally good view. 

 

After moving from the line of fire, I found myself reflecting on the number of ways in which life (and let's be honest - people) sling mud. I considered how we are often in the line of splatter and just remain there, for whatever reason. It could be that we feel like we can't escape it or don't know how, it could be that we are so accustomed to it that we fail to recognize it as a problem or have even become comfortable in it, or it could be that maybe we too are slinging mud. Whatever the case, I feel like this is a lesson that the Lord is still unpacking for me, but he did speak profoundly to me about the fact that even if we can't take ourselves out of an environment completely, we can remove ourself from the line of direct splatter.

 

There is something to that, because life can be messy for all of us in varying ways, but the fact is that we get to decide just how much of the mess we will allow to get on us. In youth group we have spoken a lot about decision making and choosing newness in Christ and how that means not returning to the slop. The same can be said about not remaining in patterns and routines that continually place us in muddy situations; either as the slinger of mud or as the one upon which the mud is slung. Maybe that's about as clear as mud, but I'm trusting that you get the point!

 

I was further reminded that while the world may so often seem out of control, the fact is that God is still very much in command. Yes, there are many things that He is not specifically controlling due to the fallen state of man and the temporary reign of sin in the world, but He is still orchestrating events for the greater eternal outcome and "in all things [He] is working for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). I think I needed the intense realization of that truth in that exact moment, because at times (if I'm not carefully surrendered) I can find myself feeling too responsible for their outcomes.

 

What I mean is that I want so badly for the young people that Jesus sends our way to realize how abundant life in Christ can be. I want them to know how much Jesus loves them and how precious they are to Him. I want them to learn to walk in righeousness and the fullness of the love of Christ, because I know just how wonderful that life is. I want them to not only secure their eternal salvation but also to live in freedom and purpose while here. More than anything, I want them to experience walking in the will of God, because there is nothing else in this life that compares to that. I want them to love Jesus passionately and to guide others, including their future families, to love Him just as passionately. All of that; however, is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit, not of myself, and it is important to remain in that understanding. Why? Because when all is said and done we are accountable only for ourselves and how we choose to live, not for the choices of others, and because if we find ourselves feeling responsible for outcomes then perhaps we are operating in our own strength rather than that of God's, or dare I say - overstepping from our role into His.

 

I know what the Apostle Paul felt in Romans chapter 9 when he stated that he would give up his life if it would save his people (verse 3), but I also know the rest of the chapter which discusses how it is God who chooses. It is God who purposes and "God [who] chooses to show mercy to some and harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen." Ouch, right? That is one of those hard to swallow truths, but the fact is it is truth, and the scripture goes on to tell us that we are not to argue with God about such. For we are "mere human beings" and the potter has the right to use the jar of clay however He sees fit, and finally we are told in that same chapter that God is patient with those upon whom he could pour out His anger and that the final selection of mercy comes down to an act of faith rather than trying to get right with God by keeping the law. 

 

Which all leads me to this, if we believe that God is sovereign and we believe that God is trustworthy then we must trust Him in ALL things. We must trust that His plan is for the greater good eternally and for His greatest glory. We must trust that if we are living surrendered to His will and His plan, He will orchestrate every step. In short, we must trust that He will take care of the outcomes.

 

Does that mean that we sit under a tree and wait for the apple to fall, no? It means that we remain in prayer continually, from before our feet hit the floor, all through the day, and until we fall off into sleep. It means that we "seek first the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness" (Matthew 6:33) and we know that when we do, it is "God who directs our steps" (Proverbs 16:9), and as such we (and those whom He sends to us) are under His plan. The final, and maybe hardest, part is that we must be willing to trust that plan in its ENTIRETY, until the day when the clouds roll back and all is revealed and made right. 

 

Since I don't know where you're at and I don't know your heart, I don't know how any of that makes you feel, but I know for me the reality is that I would much rather have God in charge than myself. I already know that I would mess it up royally. I also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He loves me more than anyone ever and that He can be fully trusted with my heart, my life, and those whom I love. That said, knowing that I can rest in His plan brings me a sense of tremendous peace. I pray you find that peace as well this holiday season and in the days to come.

 

Until next time, remember, lean into Jesus and choose to remove yourself from the mud, because He has a plan and a purpose for your life that has you walking in a robe of white; which don't mix well with mud! 

 

~ Jen